Works in Progress Told in Three Truths

Sadly I do not know who to properly attribute the below to, but when I recently heard these it quite literally stopped me in my tracks. Partly for the alliteration (who does not love good alliteration?), but largely as it encapsulated something I think is hugely critical for us to never forget as leaders, especially as we endeavor to create environments that allow our people to realize the best versions of themselves.

The three truths are:

• Be forgiving of your former self
• Be firm of your present self
• Be flexible of your future self

Permit me to unpack and elaborate, and in so doing I hope to connect it back to leadership fundamentals.

First and foremost, we are all capable of amazing things. But along the way to these amazing accomplishments, we are also fallible; more so, we can be our own worst enemies in the face of these seeming failures. I say "seeming" because where we fail in life and business is not per se actual failures (the only real failure is not getting back up after getting knocked down), but more that we failed to satisfy unrealistic expectations. While it's beyond this article to fully unpack how the root of so much suffering rests upon our expectations, suffice to say that our failures are more that we are divorced from a simple reality: we are all works in progress.

In the first truth, this is where it's important for us to forgive our former self, as it were, and to allow ourselves to fail gracefully by acknowledging that while we sometimes miss the mark, it's more important that we never stop trying to do so. In short, remember to find grace in our humanity, both in our accomplishments and our fallibility.

In the second truth, we focus on the present moment; it's the only moment we can ever truly live in. This is where (or when, to be more precise) we must fully and purposely exercise our free will and intent. It's important for us to stand firm in our beliefs, and make decisions grounded in the best of intentions. Have conviction, and hold yourself accountable to those things you hold most dear and most true by being firm, by being true.

Finally in the last truth, no matter how firmly we live in the moment, let us not forget humility in face of the fact that we cannot anticipate or plan for all things. Keep an open mind, knowing we are all inherently ignorant. Leaders peer fearlessly into the unknown of not only the business but of themselves and others, and learn deeply. Do not let principles, heuristics, or past successes turn into tired dogma whereby we become defenders of the status quo; instead, remain flexible to what might be, what you and others might become.

Suffice it to say, I really enjoyed hearing those three truths. They are good grounding statements that I think we can use to celebrate our shared humanity: we are all works in progress. I do not think these are just words to live by, I think they are words we lead by, too.

A part of our role as a leader is to reflect back to others what we see of the situation and of themselves. We want to see our people be successful, and we do this by providing unflinching feedback. The essence of good feedback is grounding it in reality absent judgment. And once we give feedback, we layer on sound advice, when and where appropriate. These two pieces, feedback and advice, are well-married to each other not dissimilar to giving directions to a traveler. We cannot get to where we are going without first knowing where we are leaving from. We cannot become whomever we might become without first knowing who we are. When an employee comes to us asking about a promotion, we sit down with them and help build them a map with this kind of navigational thinking. The goal of feedback and advice is not to admonish or otherwise be punitive, it's meant to be a gift that helps illuminate and instruct. When we are talking with a fellow employee, we want them to clearly see where they are both hitting and not hitting the mark, but we also do not want them to fall into the trap of shame or embarrassment. And this is where I think the above three truths are of value: they remind us of a shared humanity, helping us to find grace in who we were, hold true to who we are, and remain open and flexible to who we will become.

This is how we take care of ourselves. This is how we can help take care of others in our charge. And is this not, at its most basic parts, what leadership is all about?